Some things I learned from my grandma
About two weeks ago my grandma left this earth for a better place. 94 years on old.
Here I will try to articulate some of the things that I learned from her both through experience as well as hindsight as I try to reflect.
Fortitude
My grandma was a very strong woman. She came from a lower socio-economic background, born in a small town in Mexico. It was a lot of work in order to raise her children and take care of the family, not the type of work we do nowadays of course on a computer and sit for hours, but actual sweat-inducing work. That’s more of what I didn’t experience though.
What I experienced first hand was her later years and that fortitude was always there as well, you could see it in her gaze, but still see a look of compassion and kindness. She was always strong and I don’t ever remember hearing her complain about physical pain as she got older, she just rolled with the punches if you will. She’d always say something like “I offer this pain as a sacrifice to God”.
I remember when I was younger and she started having trouble going up the stairs I would help her up — she had knee issues that became more apparent as time passed — she would just hold on to my arm and push through the pain each night to get to her room. Seemed like a small amount of effort then, but now (I’m 27 and I have a slight back issue) I can’t imagine the pain she’d go through each day just to get to bed.
Presence & Stillness
This was one of the most obvious ones and I think one that was very apparent. I try very, very hard to remember if there was ever a time when she worried about something in the future or if she was regretful or sad about something in the past and I just can’t think of anything. She always lived in the moment. Whether at the beach, doctor’s office waiting for results, or during the last moments of her life, she was always in a state of peace I will always admire and work on attaining.
Gratefulness
It seems like this is also an easy one to takeaway after spending time with her, even if it was just a couple of hours, you’d realize how appreciative she was of things and that she took nothing for granted. Even though it wasn’t much (through most people’s measurement) she had more than enough and lived an abundant life.
Courage
I think this is one I was able to experience more personally. My grandma wasn’t scared of the unknown, maybe it comes down to age at some point. Some years after my family and I had moved to the US my mom wanted my grandma to come live with us for a couple of years and it was a big change that I believe took a lot of courage. She was very accustomed to her little town life, always seeing familiar faces walk by. When she moved to the US with us all that was immediately gone, familiarity suddenly vanished, but she never complained or said she wanted to go back.
Unconditional Love
My grandma was the most loving being. I remember when I was younger I’d always ask for her to scratch my back and she’d almost always do it. When she’d get tired of doing it I would ask her to keep going but sometimes she’d do a playful pinch, but she never got upset. She showed love in everything she did. She used to love to cook and make food for the family. If we did something wrong she would get mad but in a loving way and she’d always look out for others’ best interest.
I wish I would've had the opportunity to...
Listen to more of her stories
Spend more quality time with her
Made more of my favorite ice cream with her
Had more patience when she asked for stuff
Give her lots of hugs
Talk about her childhood
Learn more about her upbringing
Be with her in her last days
Flown out to her funeral to say goodbye (COVID-19 didn't make it possible)
Told her I loved her one last time